So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
