And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
