puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
