Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
