found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
