office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
