with your own penis?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
