Sponge bath it is.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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