if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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