just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
