I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
