I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
