Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
