I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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