i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
