you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
