Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
