honey bunches of taint.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
