Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
