That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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