K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
