i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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