return my video game
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
