He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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