youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
