this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
wow bdsm is so cute
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
