it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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