wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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