If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
