i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize