I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this beer tastes like vomit already
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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