Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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