She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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