I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
