Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
