i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize