I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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