just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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