It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As shirtless as possible
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
