I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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