i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
