The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
