if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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