North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
