if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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