i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
