the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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