we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
