Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
