We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
