Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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