So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize