Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
