we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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