so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
