Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
