$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
