I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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