he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
