You made me cry and you don't even care
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
