just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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