Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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